


The Superhero Handbook

by insanityclings



Category: Smallville
Genre: Gen, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 08:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12105078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanityclings/pseuds/insanityclings
Summary: As the years pass, the list grows and evolves until she decides it’s just more practical to make it into a book, and so the Superhero Handbook is created.





	The Superhero Handbook

**Author's Note:**

> Old Livejournal fic.

It begins as small reminders and helpful tips. Of course Bart required a bit more reminding and so she makes a list.

Things a Superhero should NOT Do

1\. Reveal secret identity to impress girls  
2\. Eat gold fish crackers in front of Aquaman  
3\. Ask Boy Scout if aliens do “it” differently  
4\. Give Boy Scout the Kama Sutra as a birthday present with his mother in the room  
5\. Hide a peanut in Green Arrow’s food just to see his face get puffy for any reason  
6\. Put refrigerator magnets on Cyborg  
7\. Suggest Watchtower have more money to give to charity by making a sex tape   
8\. Invite Watchtower’s cousin to the Tahiti (she’ll go but she’ll bring Boy Scout with her)

As the years pass, the list grows and evolves until she decides it’s just more practical to make it into a book, and so the Superhero Handbook is created. 

They find an old Polaroid camera in the Kent attic and spend the day using up the left over film. Mostly it’s group shots with the guys showing off their powers and their costumes. They tape all nine pictures onto blank pages, including one of Oliver caught with his hand up Chloe’s shirt, much to Chloe’s chagrin and Lois’ glee. 

Lois designs the cover on green construction paper with little fish stickers, glow in the dark stars, and a ninja robot drawn to defend the letter H in Handbook, though her artist abilities seriously lack and she ends up bribing AC into doing most of the actual work. It looks very much like a child’s imagined creation and often sits on the coffee table where no one ever bothers to consider that secrets to the universe lay on page 4. 

Victor glues on a recording chip that plays their shouts so it sounds like one of those annoying greeting cards but with dirty jokes and the first record of the team being dubbed the Justice League. 

In a hundred years it will find its way to a museum, with its pizza sauce stain in the corner holding the memory of the first time they tried to figure out just how many pizzas Bart could eat in a single sitting (2,039), and it’s pages soaked with the scent of salt water and coffee. 

The Superhero Handbook is published in 2126 as historical documentation of some of the greatest heroes ever known and Chloe Sullivan becomes a world famous reporter after all.


End file.
